The birth.....

About four hours into my hospital stay, the doctors gave me medication to induce labor.  There were so many people (nurses, doctors & interns) around talking and poking and prodding, that I couldn’t get a grip on reality.  Not the reality I once knew.  This was the first time; I had no control over any aspect of my life. At this point, I believed, GOD was silent!  I had been silenced!  Later that night, I was administered an epidural, but it was not effective.  I felt every pain staking contraction! It was as if, someone had a fist clutched around my spine and were not letting go.  A few hours later, she arrived.  (Zora was here).  The doctors quickly carried her away in what seemed to be bags and maybe blankets.  The moments after this, are a little blurry.  I cannot, or I will not allow myself to remember what exactly happened next.  I do know a while later I gathered the courage to hold her in my arms and give her back to GOD.  See there was some part of me that still wanted to believe!  Even through the ciaos, I wanted to believe that GOD…our GOD had not left me. Even though my closeness to GOD seemed to be deteriorating, my hope was that HE would guide Zora to his kingdom.  Wow! Hmm, But GOD! #helpinghealinghearts#, to be continued…