valerieboyd16.com...The battle for my life...
There comes a time when relying on self only deepens the wound and drains one of all energy…negative & positive. Walking around on half empty was interfering with my job and my interaction with all those around me. One night while sitting on the floor going through my baby’s keepsakes I stumbled across a pamphlet encouraging mothers who have lost a child to seek help. I sat for a moment looking at the pamphlet realizing there are no such things as coincidences. Apparently, the universe (GOD at His best) was trying to get my attention. I carried this pamphlet around for two days and on the third day, I made the call that would change my life and my way of thinking. I made an appointment with a counselor for emotional HELP. I remember this day vividly. Normally traffic was so heavy during rush hour, but this particular evening it was smooth sailing. There were no obstacles in my path. I remember tuning into the radio and hearing a breaking bulletin, that M J had passed away. (One of the most electric entertainers of our time) For a brief moment, I thought my child was in the company of another angel. I digress. I was somewhat excited that I made the first step by actually following through and arriving at the counseling center. So many discouraging thoughts ran through my mind. “Will I be judged, Will this person really listen to me, Will I be stereotyped for life, and most importantly, will I be known as WEAK!” I sat in my car for what seemed like forever trying to decide if I should go through with this. Who would be behind that door? Will these people really be open to my pain? (Group therapy-something different for sure)...Seeking help was something foreign to me. Usually, I was always the one giving the help, but receiving placed my heart and soul in a place of unfamiliarity. Behold I stand at the door and knock…will you let me in? Will I.. that is the question #helpinghealhearts...to be continued
Author Valerie Lynn
Free thinking writer, advocate for women, and person of passion, Seeking to heal hearts.